Pain Management and Mindfulness

The Healer

First a disclaimer:  Take what you can and leave the rest...

Before every mindful and meditating person stops reading this article beyond the first paragraph, please bear with me.

This is a story that I have shared with a number of people about an experience that I had following a surgery in 2009.  The pre-surgery tests and results came back and my surgeon and doctors were making plans.  A long, very difficult recovery was outlined and explained to me by a variety of specialists.

Prior to the surgery, I did my thing.  Meditating and reading the best I could.  I wanted the mildest pain killer and dosage possible and I explained to the doctor that the pain was so great that I couldn't get to the point of being able to meditate.  I needed something to take the edge off so that I could continue my process toward peace and relief.  For a person they considered to have "a high pain tolerance", they did their best to relieve the pain, but keep me completely functioning.

The surgery went perfectly.  One day, I may describe the experience further in my blog.  As they rolled me between the swinging doors exiting the room, I awoke.  The surgeon and anesthesiologist leaned down, spoke my name, reiterated the surgery I had just undergone, and said ..." you're going home".

In my delirium, that had a number of interpretations.

They wheeled me into recovery.  Now, I cannot explain the feelings of being in recovery, but I was the only one conscious in that recovery room.  Nurses and doctors buzzing around me to do all they could to release me quickly.  I was overwhelmed.  Disbelief is an understatement.  Guilty for having been so fortunate.  And...pain beyond any I had ever experienced (they forgot to administer any pain relief following the surgery).

I went home.  Joy, relief, disbelief, gratitude, love almost all-consuming.

But, there was guilt.  An unbearable emotion.  Underneath it all.  Overwhelming.

"Why me?  How did I get so lucky?  I'm so joyful and grateful and feeling such relief escaping the forecasts of my predicted future...but why me?"

I felt terrible, but I did what I do.  I meditated.

The pain was still beyond anything I had ever experienced.

I went into the meditation with this thought of horrendous guilt behind it all.  The thought itself was the "gorilla in my mind" at the time.  Enormous.

As I slowly slipped "back to reality" following the meditation, I began to feel something.  A relief.  An answer of sorts.

The answer seemed to be written for me.  Like a billboard becoming visible as I neared it, the answer in my mind was clear.

"Because you're not done yet."

I know these answers are "obvious", "simple"....I've been told that more times than I can remember...but I have also been told, "why didn't I think of that"?

That's mindful meditation.  The simple.

The greatest truths and answers are just that.  Pure.  Simple.

My point to sharing this story was a discussion that I had with young man who was undergoing tests for a disease that would change the rest of his life.  I listened to his pain and thought I'd share this story with him.  For what it may be worth.

He said to me, "you have no idea what this answer did for me."  He was so grateful and a look of relief and serenity crossed his face that I hadn't seen since he received his possible diagnosis.  He said, "You need to tell people this.  It's so simple, but we forget."  And..."Thank you.  Thank you so much."

If anyone feeling pain of any sort reads this, I hope they may find some relief in knowing that there is much more ahead for you.  No matter the type of pain and no matter the path ahead.  Yes.  You are in agony and you may have many questions about the pain.  But, remember.

You are here and experiencing.  You're not done yet.  Whatever that may mean.  There's some great mystery.  A gift is wrapped.

Obvious, I know.

Sometimes, the best, simplest answer is the only answer we have.

Mindfulness: When Worlds Collide

April 17, 2013.  Logan International Airport.  Boston, Massachusetts.

On April 19, 2013, I was in Boston, Massachusetts.  I was attempting to fly from my childhood home to my present home.  I don't need to tell you the story.  It's been covered.

The tower at Logan, in Boston.  I'm sure they didn't know what they may be facing.

The moment.  The experience.  The slice of time.  Oh yes.  Boston is strong.

Then...the connection.

I was in Boston reuniting with my family for one of the most life-altering, crushing blows that anyone faces in a lifetime.  I arrived in Boston, April 17, to lay my first greatest blessing on this planet to rest.  I was in Boston to remember and celebrate the life of my dear, enchanting, radiant and loving mother.

I speak a bit about my mother on Facebook.  There is far too much for me to say about her here.  Suffice it to say, her life is one of the richest and most selfless this world will ever be graced to witness.

My mother will always be one of the most amazing people I will ever know.  She had an endless supply of indispensable wisdom and an unmatched, tender gift for delivery of firm guidance.  Yet, she had a curious way that encouraged freedom, creativity, and ingenuity with a grace that most people will never be able to duplicate, let alone master.

During adolescence, I remember a discussion that we had frequently.  Whether I was referencing my friends' actions, or her opinions, she would say fearlessly, "Be different".

The strength, confidence, and faith in that statement still astounds me.  I could have been anything.  I could have done anything.  You've been there.  You know what I'm saying.  She challenged the world of adolescent possibilities completely -- with no fear or reluctance whatsoever.  That's faith.  That's love.  The absence of fear.  As is said often, "the opposite of love is not hate.  It's fear."

So...the adolescent mantras of independence and different became a joke to me at that point.  My mother's gentle teaching flattened the cliques and "cools" that were my world at the time.  Those independent souls advertising and proclaiming rebellious actions became silly.  They were all the same and worse yet, they "didn't even get it!"

I was seeking...different.  It was time to grow...and that was her lifelong message to me.  That was always her message.  "Do better" than those kids.  "Do better than ME", she would say.

I knew I never would, but I sure loved and respected anyone saying that...and here she was.  My Mom!

My life has proven to be a winding road.  A quest like that isn't pretty, but Mom never said it would be.

The journey has not been without mistakes, corrections, guidance and downright "face plants" (an expression of which cyclists are well-familiar).  The tests have proven numerous and endless as they are for all of us.  I am grateful to have stumbled through this journey, with all of it's bumps, bruises and scars.

As part of the challenges thrown my way, I faced one of the greatest questions that each of us faces throughout our lifetimes.  The very serious, relentless interrogations came about 25 years ago.  The "Trials" I call them now.  The ceaseless, painful inquisitions about my faith.  Sure, I had my childhood lessons of respect, rituals, and diligence.  I had no preparation for this.

I went to school.  Science was a favorite subject.  I had a million questions myself.  I wasn't prepared for this test.  I hadn't studied.  In reality, I was not only ill-equipped, I was flat out lame!

From my own experience, questioning my mother and her convictions, I knew anyone questioning me so seriously (and in fact, ferociously at times) was searching for their own answers in defiance and desperation.  After all, these inquiries were not coming from a child or teenager.

This was a perfect instance for which the third degree and badgering could have been the most miserable experience of my life.  At the time, it was.  But, now, I couldn't be more grateful for the answers I was forced to find and prove for myself.  The "evidence" and "proof" I had to prepare under intense duress.  Little did I know it, at the time I needed to survive through this torturous line of questioning for my journey.  I was enduring what I would need and use the rest of my life.  That cross-examination, in fact, was a gift to me.  The "opportunity" that is so often referenced in the "take-aways" from losses or painful circumstances.

My Mom used to say that everything in life comes down to math.  Problem-solving.  Awesome.

In March 2013, I noticed this one word.  One name.  My Mom's beautiful name -- etched in a railing encircling the end of my favorite pier near my home now.  Then, the fog horn blew.
As people we find comfort and security embracing the constants for ourselves.  Ironic, when we embrace the variables, the unknown...that's when everything begins and that's where we will find the most peace and comfort.
That's where everything becomes one.
 "It's all about the math."

Mindfulness was a big part of this exploration and journey.  Awareness.  Being in the moment.  Not judging or defining.  Not labeling or needing to categorize or make sense of anything.  In fact, solving without solving.  A solution in and of itself.

I began practicing mindfulness.  I began meditation.  I began studying a variety of practices, teachings, and disciplines.

Since then, I have a new appreciation for many of life's experiences that flow like waves into our lives.  Painful and joyous.

There are no coincidences...Coincidence is a mathematical term.  Two angles that coincide are said to be two angles that fit together perfectly.  That is in no way accidental.  In science, "there is no implication that the alignment of events is surprising, noteworthy or non-causal."  We lost something in the translation.  Again.  It all comes down to math...

Once a few years ago, I had an opportunity to test all that I had studied for the past decade.  I was extremely ill and experiencing excruciating physical pain.  If excruciating physical pain does not demand mindfulness, nothing else will.  A lesson, I now know, I had to experience or I wouldn't reach the point that I needed to reach.  I wouldn't master the lesson in time for my next step.  I am not the brightest student!

I began a compassion meditation.  Without provocation, or direct invitation, a phrase echoed in my mind as I withdrew from the moments of serenity.  I was ill and to be "restored" as we know it.  However, there were words that assured me there is no separation, no divide.  The only separation is..."as we know it".  "As we choose to see it."  The following words played over and over following this meditation and through the tests, surgery and recovery.

"On earth as it is in heaven."

I never really...I mean really...thought about what that means.  The meditation brought it into focus.  It was monumental in my mind.  I couldn't deny or avoid the words themselves if I tried.

"On earth as it is in heaven".

As I explored, "being different", questioning, remaining open, receptive, and problem-solving, these words would have been the least I expected to hear.  I was in a wide-open state.  Receptive to everything possible.  Desiring answers.  In fact, expecting to be surprised and blowing away all that I had ever been taught and "knew".  Maybe, even smugly allowing an "I told you so" to creep into my mind.   

What did I hear?

Now, I understand why those particular words were necessary for me.  I was treading in a territory of infinite wisdom and knowledge.  I needed a language translation.  I needed help!  I needed those specific words in a language I could recognize in order to be taught "something" for which there are no words.

"A peace that passes understanding".

For someone else, they will come in a language that speaks to them.  Same message.  Different language.  Simple.

On April 19, 2013, I was experiencing a personal transformation.  A day of reckoning of my own.  A day that my life, my journey, had been preparing me for all along.  On the surface, it was horrific.  My life had been blown up.  All that I had ever known from the moment I was born was in chaos.  I don't have the words to explain my visible, tangible self at that moment.  I'm still there to some extent now.  The loss of a dear loved one will do that.

Mindful of my loss.  Mindful of the magnitude of my personal sorrow and heartache.  And...aware.  Mindful that Boston...and the world...and our human connections, our strength and resilience are not really planted to the earth beneath our feet.  Mindful that there is no separation.  The limits rest here if we choose to limit ourselves.  

In my journey, my inner world and outer were mirrors for instants that day...and everyone was seamlessly connected.  One humanity.  One experience for me to see and feel.  The pain and strength and resilience...beyond anything physically limiting...and the choice.  Those who rose beyond the constraints.  Those who rose above the pain.  Those who rose beyond the limits...and of course, those who served.

I am reminded of a quote by Dr. Viktor Frankl, “What is to give light must endure burning.”

I've returned to another of the earth's beautiful spots.  My home is where the fog horn blows and the sea laps the pilings of a sturdy pier.  Like all of us, parts of me remain true.  Sturdy.  Strong.  But, there is a different kind of strength.  Something beyond strength "as we know it".

There is Boston Strong. 

Parts of me, like Boston, will never be the same.  I know, in time, we will all be better for it.  In fact, stronger for it.  This I know.  This is the journey.

Mindfulness gave me some of the answers that I needed as I fell to my knees and crawled along this most recent path.  I felt the weight of the world with this lesson, but I know the weight is proportional to the lesson.  So...I will be grateful.  One day.  Some day.

We press on...My Mom would saying "smiling"!

I had to come from the places I have been to reach, see, and understand where I am today.

There are no coincidences...when worlds collide.  And when they do...you can do the math.

I love you, Mom.

My shoulder was a pain in the neck

The Vitruvian Man (c. 1485). Leonardo da Vinci 

A white pick-up truck fish-tailed out of control and crossed an interstate one pitch-dark, misty, zero-visiblity morning.  There is only one way for me to see the situation.  I was the most fortunate person on the planet that day.  

The truck hit my small, two-seater on the passenger side, took me with it, continuing in a spin, destroyed the front end, and finally finished impact by smashing the driver side.  I spun 270 degrees and was left crossing all lanes of the freeway.

Somehow, I walked away.

Following the accident, I saw a doctor who essentially said I was fine -- and given the severity of the accident and likely result, I agreed.

However, as long as I could remember following the accident, I have had a nagging (and sometimes, excruciatingly painful) shoulder blade.  This summer, I was on vacation and injured myself.  There weren't a lot of medical options readily available.  The pain was so severe, I had to investigate it further.  Literally, I was barely able to move and when lying in bed, I could not move at all.  Rest became impossible.

I am hoping that sharing what I learned about this injury may help someone else.

It turns out that, as the pain got worse, there were clues to its source and its remedy.  I noticed that I had numbness in three fingers on the same side as my aching shoulder.  My middle, ring, and "pinkie" finger were feeling cold and numb.  The origin seemed to run from my elbow down.

As one might expect, from a car accident, the doctor and I should have suspected whiplash at the time, but we didn't.  

I found a very helpful video series that may help you determine the source of your injury if you suffer from shoulder or arm discomfort.  Of course, I encourage you to visit your doctor and ask about "referred pain" -- pain that may originate from your neck or elsewhere.  However, in the meantime, if these exercises can help you or give you answers to the source of your discomfort, I am happy to have had the chance to save you some time or give you some options for temporary relief.

My shoulder pain could be explained as follows:

Damage to the nerve root at C6 – 7 (C7 root) will result in

• Pain from the neck and shoulder down the outside (lateral) surface of the arm, to the middle finger.
• Weakness in the triceps, with decreased sensation along the back of the hand and middle finger.
• The symptoms may be reduced if you put your hands on the top of your head, which may relieve pressure on the nerve by increasing the space between the cervical vertebrae.

This video series proved to be extremely helpful in determining the exact source of my shoulder pain.  The exercises are surprisingly simple.  I knew the moment that my shoulder responded by making the exercises difficult to perform (but not painful), I had targeted the origin of my pain.  A pain in the neck!

I didn't expect the neck movements to be felt so strongly in my shoulder blade area, but each exercise proved to be a tremendous test when I tried them.  Of course, the pain was at its worst at this point, but that was precisely how I determined the benefits of the stretches.  Surprisingly enough, after just a couple "sessions" of the exercises, I was almost entirely symptom-free.  I hope that this information may save someone from waiting, wondering, and living with the chronic condition only to find that one day, the pain leads to immobility.

Whether fitness is your thing or not, "referred pain" can be perplexing and chronic.  Don't ignore it.  Listen to the signs.  Your body is giving you clues.  Trace these breadcrumbs to the source.  Then, when you visit your doctor, you are prepared to tell them "exactly where it hurts".

Knee Health and Newton's Law

Whether you run, play tennis, enjoy team sports, or frankly, move at all, you may be at risk for a knee injury.  Joints are intricate pieces of machinery.  Prone to wear and tear as well as stress and twists.  Recovery can be long and arduous, but there are ways to build up your strength, possibly delay or remove the need for surgery, or best of all, keep them strong before you fall into the group of athletes or chronic pain sufferers known for their "bum knees".

As most of us know, swimming and cycling are the sports recommended most for those suffering from knee problems.  Swimming not only builds strength, but water workouts provide cushion and stability, as well as a healthy form of resistance exercise for our muscles and joints.  

Cycling may present an initial challenge.  You may feel a few cracks or creaks if you do have an injury.  Start easy and listen to your body's messages about when to back off a bit.  In the long term, if you can deal with the strange feeling and noises emanating from your joint, the payoffs are tremendous.  Essentially, cycling holds the key to naturally solving knee problems.  The quadriceps.  Quadricep strength and building these muscles supports your knee and takes a lot of the pressure off of the joint itself.  The "work" belongs to the muscle group, where it belongs.  Not left to a set of bones (your knee joint) and the delicate cartilage that allows the joint to provide mobility and rotation.  

Runner's World describes, "When you walk, you keep your legs mostly straight, and your center of gravity rides along fairly smoothly on top of your legs. In running, we actually jump from one foot to the other. Each jump raises our center of gravity when we take off, and lowers it when we land, since we bend the knee to absorb the shock. This continual rise and fall of our weight requires a tremendous amount of Newtonian force (fighting gravity) on both takeoff and landing."

Imagine the force we don't even consider as we enjoy the most natural sport or activity of them all!  

Cross-training is for real.  Take some of that force off of those joints once in awhile.  You'll get better mileage!  Swim if you can -- and cycle -- most definitely.  Maybe there's a reason we never forget how to ride a bike!

Stress Breath

Stress relief is simpler than you think.  When you feel that unmistakeable rise in your heart rate or that tightness in your muscles, there is a quick way to restore a sense of calm.  You may not have the time or place for an extended workout or a few moments to meditate or perform your favorite relaxation exercises.  Maybe a public speaking engagement is moments away.

Try this quick cleanse.  It won't require your running shoes or visualizing a tropical island!

Just once, inhale as deeply as you can, filling your entire diaphragm with air, imagining that you will be blowing into a balloon. Exhale through your lips as if you are trying to fill the balloon with as much air as possible.  Holding your lips in a "balloon blowing", pursed manner is a very important part of this exercise -- as is blowing out as if it is a balloon you are attempting to inflate.

You will feel the immediate difference this makes.  If you have not yet made breathing exercises an important part of your health routine, this may be your chance to introduce yourself to healthy breathing!

It is surprising how long we sustain ourselves on shallow breathing -- expecting that our bodies and minds can function on so little of what we need to survive -- oxygen!!  We drink water, eat, sleep, exercise...it's amazing...what we too often forget?  Breathing...feel the difference.  Take a Stress Breath...and feed oxygen to the starving tissues of your mind and body.  They will thank you for it!

Green Clay Mask for Men and Women

Out-of-this-world tranquility using only natural "of-this-world" ingredients!

Don't wish, wait and hope for the day that you'll have time to care for and cleanse your mind and body.   Seize this day and create your own at home spa experience. Create your own oasis and approach your life with new found clarity and focus.  You will become your very own source of tranquility and inspiration.

If you have never experienced the benefits, both physically and mentally, of a clay mask, it is definitely time to do so.  There is no doubt that having a dutiful spa technician prepare and apply a mask is a wonderful luxury, but you may find that it is next to impossible to just work in the time to schedule the appointment.  Planning relaxation becomes a stress in and of itself.

Sure.  You may not want to answer the door bell while you're enjoying the mask at home.  But, after all, isn't that the idea?

A simple clay mask will amaze you with its benefits as you productivity improves, your senses become far more acute, and your focus will become remarkable.  If that's not enough, you will actually be physically healthier and look refreshed as well.  So, add this simple, homemade spa mask recipe to those index cards for healthy dinner possibilities and make this a staple -- stay healthy on the inside and out!

2 TBS Green Clay
1 tsp. aloe vera gel
1 tsp. macadamia oil
1 tsp. honey
1 tsp. pumpkin seed oil (or almond, olive or sesame oil)
3 tsp green tea (or variation 3 tsp. sandlewood hydrosol)
5 drops vitamin E (optional)
1 drop roman chamomile
1 drop sandlewood
1 drop ylang ylang

Mix until smooth, spreadable "mud-like" texture.  Apply to face, neck, and upper chest for 15 minutes, once a week.  Do not apply more often.  This healing clay has very strong cleansing properties.  Makes approximately 2 masks.  Refrigerate and use within one month.  Warm container in a warm water bath for any refrigerated portions.

After cleansing:  Finish with a cucumber hydrosol spritz and light application of almond oil.

Recommendations:
While enjoying the mask, place chilled cucumber slices over the eyes and play soothing music to provide additional health benefits.  Tibetan flute, chants, or meditation music is a perfect accompaniment.